What It’s Like Having a Grandparent with Alzheimer’s

In all the TV shows I watched as a little girl, the kids would often visit their grandparents on the weekends. Whether it was an episode of Caillou or the Berenstain Bears, the children would always have a fun weekend with their grandparents, as they baked cookies together and looked through old photos. But for me, my weekends with my grandparents were nothing like the TV shows. What I didn’t understand at the time was that my grandfather was beginning to develop dementia.

Since his diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease, my grandpa's condition has only worsened. Sometimes, he leaves the house to go for a walk, but then forgets how to get home and cannot remember his own address. Fortunately, his neighbours help him and bring him home safely. After a few incidents of wandering, we knew that it was too dangerous for my grandpa to leave the house alone. So we installed a second lock on his door. Today, he can’t leave the house alone unless my grandmother unlocks the door.

But the hardest part of this journey is seeing my grandfather become frustrated with his failing memory. "I’m useless; I can’t remember anything" are his most common phrases nowadays. It's really heartbreaking to see him so discouraged.

Despite the burden of this illness on both my grandpa and myself, it is more important that I cherish the moments I spend with him, rather than focusing on his suffering. I'm grateful that he still remembers me and I choose to take each day as it comes, because I never know when it will be the last. I'm afraid of the day when he won’t remember me anymore – when I will no longer be his only granddaughter, but a stranger. The day when he loses his battle to dementia will be the most difficult day. So that's why I hold onto our memories, even if I have to explain to him what a selfie is every time. I’m blessed to hold his hand every step of the way, while this illness takes him away from me. Although his condition deteriorates, I love him unconditionally and hold in my heart the one thing that will never change – dementia will never take away my grandfather and our memories shared together. I will always remember them, as long as I can.

My story is only one in 1.1 million Canadians who are affected directly or indirectly by this disease. For those of you who have a loved one with dementia, know that you are not alone. Yes, it will be difficult, but know that the pain and suffering that comes with the illness is accompanied by the compassion and love we have for them.